


Trials and Tribulations of Daily Life

by godseph



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Multi, Post-Canon, Talking To Dead People, mentions of nibelheim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28933806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godseph/pseuds/godseph
Summary: Cloud is, in a sense, alone. Of that, he is certain. And yet, despite everything, he knows he is not alone. That, he knows more than anyone in the world.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Claudia Strife & Cloud Strife, Cloud Strife/Sephiroth, Reno/Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Breathe Out So I Can Breathe you In.

**Author's Note:**

> contradicting summary, my apologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special little excerpt i excluded for self-indulgent purposes.

The first time Cloud had ever felt inclined to visit someone outside of the courtesy of friendship was the fateful day that his headaches had come back full force. A powerful, dull sensation hit him square behind the eyes while he stared at a book he was far too distracted (mentally) to read. His mind had been racing at a higher speed than he was used to, and it was a surprise that he was just now getting a migraine. The light he had let in his living room had become all too bright way too quickly, and he knew he would not feel even remotely comfortable after taking pills. So, he opted for the next best thing; visiting the woman he trusted with his life. Tifa Lockart, located just down the street (she had told Cloud that she would rather he were near, not only for convenience sake but for her comfort). He padded over to the source of the light and yanked the curtains closed, thankful that they were blackout curtains and not flimsy ones. Then he walked to the door of his small home and out, making his way haphazardly down the dirt road and into the familiar wooden interior of Seventh Heaven. 

Tifa looked up from her usual place behind the bar and greeted him, as sunny as ever, until she noticed his pained expression. She knew better than anyone that his migraines took hours to leave and required patience that very few have. Those few just so happened to include her, and a gaggle of folks that were long past dead. Instead of leading him to her room as she might with anyone else, she leads him down to the AVALANCHE headquarters. It was free of any natural light or sounds that would make his condition worse. He allowed himself the luxury of grabbing her hand, lacing their fingers together softly whilst mindlessly following her downstairs. She smiled at the gesture and tugged him towards a rugged yet comfortable couch to lie on. Tifa sat at one end of the sofa, kicking her shoes off to swing her legs up as well. 

Cloud didn’t need any instruction, this was an interaction that was frequent during the days that AVALANCHE was most active. Countless nights were spent with him lying either on or beside her, letting her wrap him in an embrace that was full of love and protectiveness. She had always told him, especially after Sephiroth, that she would protect him. Today was no exception.

“Cloud,” She spoke gently while the taller man climbed weakly onto her lap, to nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck.

“Hm?” 

She wrapped her arms around him in the comforting embrace he had always come to love, despite his past protests “I love you,” she started, slow and simple as they always had. 

“And I swear to Gaia that I will never let anyone hurt you again.” Her voice was low but she knew he had heard her. It was the way he relaxed further into her form, letting her into his vulnerable side, that she knew her words had reached otherwise distant ears. Gloved fingers laced into blonde spikes, nails gently scraping the scalp that they sprouted from. 

Cloud was grateful to Tifa. He had saved her life many times, in more ways than one. He would allow her to utter the words that scared him so much because he knew she meant them. Ever since they were kids, he had known her to be true. The way she cradled him when he needed most was what made him feel at home. Not her regular, homely attitude she gave everyone, but the way she cared for him. They had both been in Nibelheim, so the shared trauma of watching it burn by his childhood hero’s hands had secured their already tight-knit bond. 

Tifa had begun to hum an old Nibelheim song that his mother used to play on the piano when they were children. She hummed until Cloud’s breathing grew slow, the soft sounds of a snore coming from him. Then, she brought one of his hands up to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his palm. A cheesy, intimate gesture from one kind-of lover to another that meant the world to them both. It was a silent way of saying something only she could utter in his ear. Something he uttered back at times, but he was never a man of many words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I love you. Despite what the world has thrown at us, I will always love you the way I do. No matter what you may be facing, I will be here, big or small. You are the one I will return to at the day's end, and wake to at dawn. I would rain hell on earth should anything happen to you."


	2. Could Anything Ever Be That Good Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud goes to Aerith when his mind becomes too much. Not the conventional type of comfort, but comfort nonetheless.

He hated gravestones, but then again, this was no gravestone. It was a church, but to him, it was a gravestone that had walls and a roof. It lacked her physical form, but her presence was one he could always feel inside the fragile walls of the church. He didn’t have a headache, no, but an ache that led him into Sector 5’s abandoned place of worship. On the occasion, the elderly made the trek to sit in the pews and pray to whatever they believed in. But today he was lucky, for there was nobody, and he could talk freely. The old doors creaked when he shut them behind himself but he paid them no mind. He toed off his shoes and left them at the entryway, padding over to the flower patch that had yet to wilt. He sat cross-legged before it and eyed the flowers before opening his mouth to speak. 

“Aerith,” he began, unsure of where to take this. “I miss you. I hope you’re doing well in the lifestream. Mm, I know it’s been a bit since last time, but I needed to feel you today.” His fingers drummed at the wooden floorboards beneath him. As if on cue, the wind blew and a flower blew in his direction as if to say “I’m right here,” and that was the only sign he needed.

“It got worse today. Not the headaches, but everything. I feel guilty today. For everything, even if I wasn’t directly the cause. I had flashbacks to every time Sephiroth got to me, and ways that I could’ve been stronger…”

“I know it’s bad to dwell on that, but I can’t help that. He’s the one who- anyway. I had to get away from it all, even for just a little.” Though Aerith wasn’t physically there, he could still feel her energy radiating from the flowers as if she had been there all along.

He lifted a hand to bring it to the yellow lilies that listened effortlessly. It was soft, a kind of velvety smooth that made him a little calmer. The flowers here, he knew, were resilient and strong, but to him, it felt like he was holding a delicacy between his fingers. His memory drifts back to not long ago when they had first met, him being a crashing force through the roof. She acted like it was normalcy, for people to come to the church like that. It put a smile on his face just for a while. 

“I love you Aerith. I hope that somewhere, you’re resting well.” He murmured, not taking his eyes off of the lily in his hand. The wind whistled something that reminded him of his home. He took his cue to get up and make his way over to a pew to lie on his back, a hand resting between his head and the cold wood. The whistling grew louder as his eyes fluttered shut and it became more and more like Aerith's voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quickly turning to "Cloud takes naps in people's presences because he needs the comfort". apologies for such a short chapter, i swear there's gonna be a longer chapter next time i update.


	3. Tonight, I throw myself into, and out of the red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Reno dance in Reno's kitchen to a song that reminds him of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*coughs* the song is Everlong by foo fighters, fyi, and i have been listening to it nonstop. if you haven't listened to it before, i highly suggest you do! i feel like it'll help with visualizing what i mean. i would slow dance to this song endlessly and never get tired of it. kind of a songfic? if you'd like, go ahead and skip this chapter. i know they aren't for everyone)  
> long notes, sorry, but one more thing to add. this fic is about Cloud finding comfort in others, and comfort is not strictly platonic or romantic. it is whatever he finds makes him feel at ease.

Reno, when he came around to bother Cloud, was never really as annoying as he led others to believe. He was easy enough to make conversation but sassy and temperamental enough to be funny and make playful jabs without a bad reaction. He was resilient and somewhat tough with walls strong enough to be concrete that kept his emotions hidden. But, more importantly, he was flawed, he was human. Was Tifa human too? Absolutely, but she wouldn’t allow Cloud to make terrible mistakes when he wanted to, or even needed to. That’s why he sat in Reno’s apartment, beside him with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of scotch laid out before them. The redhead had taken to sipping on the scotch while Cloud took small drags of a cigarette.

For the first time, there was no tension, no need to be at one another’s neck or make threats they would never follow through on. Cloud needed to feel human again. He knew that his form was human, but the cells that made up his very structure were not. He wanted to feel like a reckless teenager, unlike the one he had been all those years ago. Reno gave him just that. He could take one look at Cloud and know exactly what he wanted. A cigarette, scotch, and a place to stay without anyone else aware, like he was running from something.

Truth be told, Cloud was running. His life was good, but luck never favored him. Luck favors the fortunate. Cloud was not fortunate. He was the exact opposite of fortunate. Half of his friends were dead, and so was the man that gave him a reason to fight as hard as he did to be alive. But he had Reno to lean on when the feeling to run came along. He was waiting for something to go wrong because everything was going too right. It was a panic instinct, one he hated himself for, but he couldn’t help the feeling. So he ran. He ran into Reno’s apartment and stayed until he felt the need to leave. Reno never prodded or poked, he just let him in and gave him warmth.

In the present, Cloud had his mouth on the cigarette once more. Reno watched with turquoise eyes that shamed the stone itself. A song played on the radio, one he had heard before in Tifa’s bar not long ago. Reno, who knew the song by heart, let a smile form on his face and dragged Cloud into the kitchen to dance.

“C’mon, let’s dance.” The blonde let himself get tugged along, knowing that resistance wouldn’t fly this time.

“Just this once, okay?” He huffed, wondering what the Turk had in store for him.

Firm hands were set at his waist and Cloud could only assume Reno was going to slow dance with him.

He was right, at first. When the lyrics began and the beat picked up, they swayed to the rhythm. Cloud’s arms wrapped around Reno’s neck to make it less awkward while the other softly sang the words.

Hello

I’ve waited here for you

Everlong

Tonight

I throw myself in to

And out of the red, out of her head

She sang

Reno looked down at the other, who had his eyes closed and was leaning against him as he swayed. His heart fluttered, sure, but he’d deal with it later. The lyrics paused, sliding into the instrumental break for a few and he could feel his pulse in his brain. Not good, he told himself.

Come down

And Waste away with me

Down with me

Slow how

You wanted it to be.

Cloud noticed the way the other’s heart faltered but said nothing. He was no better off in this instance than Reno was. The heart he swore would never feel anything was racing with dopamine and adrenaline from such simple actions.

I’m over my head, out of her head she sang

Their pace picked up, pulling the blonde away from Reno’s chest and twirling him as though they were ballet dancers. The redhead sang louder to match the music, pulling Cloud back into him and cupping his face.

And I wonder, when I sing along with you.

If everything could ever feel this real forever.

Everything moved too slow for Cloud’s liking, especially how Reno hesitated to kiss him even though they both knew it was what they needed, what they wanted. But he let him set the pace, let him take his time so as to not upset the man before him. His eyes went to the lips that mouthed the words so perfectly at him.

If anything could ever be this good again

The Turk kissed Cloud with a new avidity, something that had burned within him each time these “runaway” encounters occurred. It was a slow start, something that both scared and enticed both of them. Reno allowed his walls to be pulled down around Cloud as he had done the same with him. He had not regretted the outcome, not when he had wanted this so surely.

The only thing I’ll ever ask of you

You gotta promise not to stop when I say when

Cloud, even if temporary, decided that he would not run. He knew where he was supposed to be, right there, in Reno’s kitchen, dancing to a song that he wasn’t familiar with. A song that would stay with him for the rest of his life, in a moment that would follow him to the grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know what you're thinking. "who the fuck dances to foo fighters?" me. i do. and i will gladly live through these fictional men just to fulfill my dream. it's a great fuckin song.


	4. I'm Out of My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud needs his mom, even at the ripe age of 25.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! tried not to make this too bland. Never was good at writing one-sided conversations from the third point of view.

Claudia Strife had died approximately six years, two months, and four days to the date of Nibelheim. Cloud hated thinking about it, but the thought of her burning to death haunted him wherever he went. Images of her corpse aflame stained his eyelids when he shut them at night. They were inescapable and he was left with no solace, no rock to lean on except the consciousness that told him to get over it. 

So most nights he sat alone at his dining table, with nothing but a picture, old and time-worn in his hand. Claudia held a toddler in her arms who looked just as happy as she did with a bright smile aimed at the camera. They were identical. The little boy had a party hat carelessly set on his head amidst the tufts of blonde hair that poked every which way and a bright blue onesie on. His blue eyes shone in the light of birthday candles on a small cake (chocolate, his favorite flavor). His mother had chocolate frosting smeared on her cheek from the toddler’s messiness, but she looked like she hadn’t a care in the world. Cloud sighed and wondered what life might have been like if she were around.

If, just maybe, she had survived. He was only 20 when it happened, so he wouldn’t still be living with her, but even still. He ached for his mother’s caring embrace and the way she would sing to him on rough nights, even in his teenage years. Cloud got horrible nightmares that started at 13 and lasted up until he left Nibelheim, and unfortunately, his mother. When he got them, she would be by his side in an instant and would stroke his hair with love that only a mother could hold. She sang to him an old tune that her mother had sung to her as a baby. It always made him sleepy, if not, calm enough to try sleeping again. But the only thing he had from his old home was a stuffed brown bear that was limp at the joints. Time had done a number on the bear, but he had done repairs as needed. He brought it with him when he had left for Midgar, seven fateful years ago. Sometimes, when he hugged it close to him at night, he swore he could still smell Claudia’s perfume on it. His only comfort was his mother and who she might’ve been. 

But tonight he spoke to her gravestone that made him nauseated at the mere sight. He knelt in front of it and set his hands on the carved stone and opened his mouth to utter words he never thought he’d say.

“Mom? I have some things I need to say. Before I do... How are you? Redundant, sorry.” Cloud inwardly cursed himself and wished his mom could make her presence known.”

“Listen, I..” He sighed, “I found someone.” He began with a smile that masked nothing, “But… There’s something you should know. They’re a guy. I know you hoped I would end up with Tifa, but she’s actually dating his friend. Kinda funny how that works, huh?” Cloud laughed weakly before looking down at his feet. 

“I miss you, mom. And I can’t stop imagining how you felt during Nibelheim, or how I should’ve known how something was going to go wrong. The dreams I get are damn near traumatizing. I don’t know what to do, and I need you here to tell me. Tell me what I should do to get through this. It’s bad enough that the only memories of you I have are ones from years ago. So please, just tell me.” He would never admit to anyone just how much of a momma’s boy he was when he was younger, but it was obvious enough to anyone watching him plead in front of his mom’s grave.

Cloud had half the mind to not lose it in public and composed himself as best he could before he tried to speak, only to fail and feel the telltale sting in his eyes. Huffing out a frustrated breath, he got up and made the trip home to do what he figured she would want. To sit down on his bed, grab the teddy bear that was so abused it could fall apart at any second, and to try to feign happiness so he could dream of her. When he was a child and she left him alone, he would do just that. It helped, momentarily, because there was the promise of her coming home. Now? There was no such thing, he knew, but it was worth a shot. 

On his bed he lay, teddy bear in arms, ready to fall asleep when he felt her presence looming over him like a ghost. Her voice fell on his ears like a blessing 

“Rest easy, Cloud. I’ll always be with you, wherever you are.” A promise she had made long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments help me grow as a writer, so, please! even if they're critical, i won't mind :)


End file.
